My Toxic Friend

When my life fell apart, you were there making me feel as if things were ok.

When I was bored, you were there, entertaining me enough and making me feel better about me.

When I was scared, you calmed me and made me see that there was no reason to be scared.

When I was angry, you reached inside and soothed my nerves, splashing me with waves of calmness and relief.

You were my friend when I had no friends. You were the one thing that was always there for me. You were the one thing that always made me feel better.

But you were destroying me. For every visit you gave me, you took something from me that I may never have again. For every time we got together, you dulled me, duped me, and chained me to you. You told me to come to you when I needed you, but you never said that when I wanted to get away you wouldn't let me. You never said that you would haunt me and taunt me if ever I wanted to try it on my own. You never said that you would make my body shake and ache, play games with my mind, and bring me into depression if I ever walked away.

I fell for your lies, but now I see you for the truth. You are a friend, but not a friend. The toxicity of our relationship is too much for me to handle anymore. I want to go it alone. I want to be free from you. I'm tired of you telling me I'm not good enough to make it without you.

I'm tired of feeling like I lost a friend. You are an inanimate object. A ball and chain. Go away. Go away. Come back. Go away. I hate you. I love you. Come back. Go away.

Flurry...flurry. Whir.